Week 10 Recap

I’m being lazy and writing this first bit on Thursday night. I feel confident doing so because there’s just no way that anyone can beat Ja’Marr Chase’s 55.4 points. Nobody has yet this season, and it’s quite likely that nobody will. Even if that were the only headwind for FUGU, he’d almost certainly be a lock to win his fantasy matchup. But it’s not, by a long shot. Rick scored 118 points on Thursday night with 4 players. Yeah, he had 60% of his fantasy lineup yet to play and he had already essentially won his matchup against XAVI. Clearly pissed about almost scoring 200 last week, Pat’s on a mission to be the first one to hit the mark.

Oh NO. As of Monday afternoon, Pat’s odds were looking good to get there. All Pat needed for that to happen was De’Von Achane scoring 10.8 points. De’Von Achane, a top-10 running back who had 59 combined points in the last two weeks, scored 10.2 and left Pat a half-point shy. The nearly 100-point margin of victory is made a little bit less sweet by missing this golden opportunity, but Pat’s no doubt still grinning just about as wide as Chase is in the below picture.

Also, a huge congratulations to CULT and GIBB, who each officially clinched the playoffs with their wins this week.


Game 1 - Bob’s Buttfumbles (115.2) def. Circleback’s Circlebacks (101.4)

Talk about a “whelming” performance. With the exception of Jalen Hurts, not a single player was able to crack 20 points in this lackluster matchup. Largely on the back of Hurts himself, BOBS was able to extend CRCL’s losing streak to 5 while earning himself the Jay-Z “I Don’t Deserve This” award for the worst scoring performance of any winning team.

BOB’s Buttfumbles got away with a pretty pitiful scoring effort at a critical time in the season. With 4 of the top 5 teams in the league winning their matchups this week, the playoff picture is becoming exceedingly clear. Not a single team in our league sits at the .500 mark, so you’re a virtual lock if you’re above that line at this point in the season. A shaky win over CRCL is still a win, and this one propelled BOBS to 98% playoff odds. If someone besides Hurts can step up for BOBS, there’s a chance to do some damage in the playoffs. But with showings like Week 10, BOBS is looking much like a one-and-done.

If you’re watching the NFL this season, you’re likely to hear some stories about the Minnesota Vikings or Buffalo Bills: both teams (by record) have legitimate shots at making the Super Bowl and are historically famous for being 0-4 in similar bids. You’ve also likely seen clickbait-y titles like “This Team Went 0-16. Now, They’re Playing For the Super Bowl” about the Detroit Lions. We write and consume these articles because they subvert our expectations. You think these teams are still trash? NOPE! But you know which team you’re not hearing about? The New York Jets. The Jets are currently rocking a 13-year playoff drought and judging by their 3-7 record, looking strong for 14. One of my main goals for reviving these recaps can be stated as this: let’s not overlook the Jets (or in this case, CRCL) in their futility. Let’s celebrate them for their active streak of being abysmal. This week, CRCL extended their own losing streak to 5. Any takers for 6?

Hurts trailed only Chase’s 55 point performance in win share this week


Game 2 - I might play in traffic (123.8) def. Kung Koo Fighting (96.3)

This crucial matchup didn’t have the scoring fireworks of others, but was perhaps the most impactful regarding the postseason invite list. TRAF beat KUNG in a relatively competitive matchup, enforcing a new power dynamic between the two playoff hopefuls.

As I mentioned above, there’s a clear dividing line in our league. There are five teams that are virtually guaranteed to make the playoffs (standing at 6-4 or better), and everyone below is aiming at that sixth and final bid. Let’s do what the math is too polite to do: let’s clean up the picture and just say that CRCL/36ACT/TRY are all trash teams who have no chance. With this win, Logan has put his team in the driver’s seat and critically, he did so against his primary opponent for that final playoff spot. This was the final matchup between KUNG and TRAF, so TRAF officially controls his own destiny. With Josh Allen and Bijan Robinson paving the way, TRAF can win out and clinch the postseason. Don’t play in traffic yet, there might be a future for you.

KUNG is feeling the other side of the same coin right now. Knowing that a golden opportunity has slipped through your fingers is a devastating emotion. I knew it only after I decided I was going to be sober for my freshman year of college, and KUNG knows it now. If any team can find creative ways to win, though, it’s this one. Baker Mayfield most certainly didn’t spend his freshman year sober; if the guy knows one goddamn thing it’s how to seize a moment. I’ve already mentioned that name changes mid-season force me to change my code for pulling all these stats, but with Younghoe Koo on a cold streak, KUNG is in dire need of some new mojo and needs a new leader in the clubhouse. There’s always the obvious: “Pollard Greens”. There’s the Ricky Bobby inspired: “Shake ’n Baker”. Maybe something more B-side like “All of a Sutton” or not-so-subtly racist like “C Otton Picker”. I called it out last week, though: this team will have to start winning now that they’re “Fully CAFfeinated”.

TRAF vs KUNG might have cemented the playoffs


Game 3 - First of all, fug u Chris (199.4) def. Xavier Leeget (111.0)

This…wasn’t a game. This was an NFL team deciding to scrimmage a high school team. This was Mike Tyson deciding to skip his upcoming fight against Jake Paul and fight a six-week old puppy. This was an all-around gymnastics competition between Simone Biles and the chubbiest kid from your local YMCA. XAVI was outmatched from the start, and it got worse after the start.

I can’t even begin to describe the carnage from the wrecking ball that was Pat’s squad this week. 118 points in a single night by 4 players. The top fantasy performance of the season by Ja’Marr Chase. Enough points by Friday AM to win his matchup, even if he sat the rest of his players. FUGU not only almost crested 200 points, he did so in truly historic fashion. 8 of 10 starters for FUGU outscored their counterparts from the other team (shame on you, Flowers and Achane). One of the most shocking parts of the performance was that it occurred on Seattle’s bye-week; FUGU has been heavily reliant on Kenneth Walker III and Jaxon Smith-Njigba, who you may remember from last week’s cover. It was a critical bye-week for FUGU, and he ate a team vying for a playoff bye for breakfast.

It seems like virtually everyone on XAVI’s roster decided that the game was in the bag after Thursday night. Cousins, Kamara, Nabers, and Wilson all decided to turn in one of their worst performances of the season, clearly seeing Week 10 as a fateful loss and saving the scoring for next week. When you can’t put up any of the top five scores in your matchup, it’s a foregone conclusion. Luckily for XAVI, there’s still a viable path to a playoff bye. Unluckily for XAVI, he had no real excuse to turn in a performance of 111 with the playoffs coming in just a few weeks. There were no bye weeks or critical injuries to blame this one on. XAVI will just have to hope that Cousins/Kamara/Nabers/Wilson can return to form next week.

XAVI’s RBs outscored FUGU by .4 points, but lost in every other position group


Game 4 - Cult of Da Lamb (142.8) def. Team try your best (92.3)

Of all of the games this week, this was the one you didn’t have to tune into. I would check my phone to see who was winning their matchups this week and swipe past this one faster than I imagine people are swiping past my Tinder profile. If you knew anything about anything, you knew that CULT would beat TRY. And so they did. Next?

CULT is good. As much as I want to think it’s just Lamar Jackson (and yeah, it’s mostly Lamar Jackson), there were 4 players scoring above 20 for CULT this week. Hubbard, Kelce, and Ridley poured points onto the scoreboard faster than drunk “try your best” fans were pouring beers onto the field in disappointment. Turning in the second-best scoring effort this week, CULT demoralized his opponent and officially clinched the playoffs. As the first player to do so, CULT is sitting in a prime position for a critical playoff bye. Not to be understated, this performance came on a week where SIX of CULT’s players had bye weeks. Consider this your official notice, Chris is coming for that ass.

**Conspiracy theory warning** Team try your best was assembled by a GM that wants to move stadiums. They’re tired of being in Oakland (as a Californian myself, I get it) and they are ready to test lady luck in Las Vegas. That’s the only reasonable explanation for the truly abysmal squad that has been assembled under GM Alex. I should state, as the preeminent journalist for our league, that I haven’t been leaked any shredded files outlining an agreement for such a move. This is purely speculation, but it’s the only explanation that makes sense. COACH Alex is doing a fine enough job. Starting Jayden Daniels over Brock Purdy is forgivable considering the season thus far. Starting Atlanta at Defense (who scored -1) instead of just leaving the slot open is more questionable, but at least there’s a discussion to be had. One thing is for sure, the “fire the GM” chants in the stadium are getting hard to ignore; it’s now clear to the league that someone is drunk at the wheel in Oakland.

CULT had the top 4 scorers in this matchup


Game 5 - Gibb’n Em The Business (116.1) def. 36 ACT (105.3)

Similarly to the above matchup, this game had no real playoff implications, with one team virtually already locked (GIBB) and another that has been playing like they’re throwing the season because they want to draft a QB first overall next year (36ACT). It was closer than you might have imagined, but the result was much the same as it often is in America: the rich got richer and the poor got screwed.

GIBB eked this one out to put himself into the playoffs, but it wasn’t a traditional win or a pretty one. Whenever you have a margin as close as this, there’s generally a roster position at which all of the margin can be accounted for. Stated differently, whenever teams are within 10 points or so, you can almost always find a position where your player outscored your opponent’s player by the whole margin. In this case, it came down to Defense. Luckily for GIBB, the Eagles D absolutely embarrassed the Cowboys this week. Had they not, he would have handed 36ACT his first win since week 5. Of all the ways to qualify for the playoffs, this is one of the most pathetic. But hey, I shouldn’t talk. I also won my matchup exclusively on the back of the Eagles this week (thanks again, Jalen).

36 ACT, of all of the teams throwing a party down there at the bottom of the league, is for sure the least deserving. After all, on the balance of the season, 36ACT has actually outscored GIBB by 80 points. That’s not even a negligible margin; it’s 8 points a week over the majority of a season. I’d make the statistical argument that they’re straight up a better team than GIBB. But fate has already decided that 36ACT doesn’t deserve nice things. While 80 points is a pretty significant gap between two teams in points scored for, the more significant gap is points scored against. It’s the one stat that you have entirely no control over, and in points scored against, GIBB has been dunked on by 300 fewer points. That’s 30 points a week representing the gap between Anthony’s average opponent and Derek’s. Get wrecked.

Removing the two weeks that they’ve played each other, 36ACT’s opponent has outscored GIBB’s in 7 of 8 weeks


Honorary Weekly Awards

Bill Belichik Manager of the Week Award*: First of all, fug u Chris - 0.0 Pts

Criteria: Total Team Score closest in pts to Best Lineup Team Score (ie came closest to maximizing possible points with their lineup)

*When you don’t always have the roster, but they’ll be as damn competitive as they can possibly be

Dug’s Cone of Shame Award*: Circleback’s Circlebacks - 43.9 Pts

Criteria: Total Team Score furthest in pts to Best Lineup Team Score (ie left most points on the table)

*When you misheard the coach who said “leave it all on the field” and you thought he said “leave it all on the bench”

Even a perfect roster selection didn’t allow FUGU to reach the 200 point mark this week

The "Mommy Will Always Love You” Award*: Xavier Leeget - 111.0 Pts

Criteria: Best scoring team that tallied a Loss

*Mommy will always love you. You just keep doing your best and things will get better.

Jay-Z “I Don’t Deserve This” Award*: Bob’s Buttfumbles - 115.2 Pts

Criteria: Worst scoring team that tallied a Win

*When you look like Jay-Z, somehow married Beyonce, cheated on her, and she still wants to be with you

It’s a beautiful thing when the top five scoring teams all earn wins. Rare, but beautiful.


Team Positional Radar Charts

Note: These are sometimes hard to read, but also wildly informative. Each point on the chart will correspond to one position group, and the farther out you are from center, the more you have scored. The index is set from 0% to 100%, which corresponds to how your position group has scored in terms of % of max league score.

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Week 9 Recap